It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
