i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
