I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
