I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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