so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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