Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
