but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
