Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
