yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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