Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
