You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
