Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Randomize
