OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Such a big mess for such a small penis
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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