alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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