oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
