there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
