I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
