We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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