Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
this will be a night to untag.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
