he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
