I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
