I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
