the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
