I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i've created a new STD.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
