So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
