I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
