I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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