i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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