i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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