all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he quoted the bible to break up with me
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
