somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
