Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
