just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
