She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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