I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
