you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
