My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
