I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
