he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
