If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
