In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
