I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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