how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I need to calm my uterus...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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