she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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