She's JV to your varsity
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you win again, gameday.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
