you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
