Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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