her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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