True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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