Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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