another moral hangover. fuck.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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