Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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