Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
