I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
