it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
