Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My dick has a subreddit
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
